please check out this blog

This really touched me today and I know some of us have been where she is. Please take time to read this blog. Check it out here

my 39 week appointment

was yesterday and I think it went very well. My midwife is so full of knowledge and she makes things make sense. LOL Some Drs. try and answer your questions but the do it in terms that you can not understand, but midwives are just so different.

I gained 4 pounds in 6 days, and she wanted to know if I wanted to be checked and I was so happy to say yes. The reason I have really been wanting to get checked is because I have been having so many Braxton Hicks along with some good contractions so I knew for sure that I had to be at lease 2 or 3 cm dilated. Well, I was only 1cm and 50% effaced and a -2 station. So needless to say I was a little disappointed. I know its progress but I thought I would be a lot further along. Well, I could barely walk after she checked me, it really hurt. So at about 7pm last night I decided to go soak in the tub and I was actually in there for over an hour. It felt so good and I just dreaded getting up and moving. Well I had to, the pruny look does not look good on me....... So I head right to bed and WOW was it hard to get comfortable. No matter how I laid I hurt. So after about an hour or so I get up to go to the bathroom and I let out a big scream. My hips, legs and "you know" hurt so bad, all I could do is start to cry, and I cried and cried and cried for a few hours it seemed. I cried out to God and prayed that he would put me in labor because I can not deal with this pain anymore. I came downstairs to cry some more, where it was more comfortable, and pray some more.. Well, I finally decided to go back up to bed to get some rest and well really didn't get much last night, I laid awake with this tighting in my stomach and every time it did, I kept wondering, is this it? I finally fell asleep at about 5 this morning and woke up the same exact way, in pain........ Since I woke up I had a couple of contractions that were pretty bad but now nothing. I did however go to the bathroom (Sorry TMI) this morning and well, I had the bloody show, so we shall see......

One thing, If I am still pregnant this time next week, I will be going in on Friday to have them insert the Gel......... But I am really praying that I don't have to do that. I really want to go ALL NATURAL.....

A little Project

So I am going to be starting a new project and I will post what it is a little later by I need some input or actually I need your stories. OK NOT long stories, I just would love to hear some of the best and worst (OK even stupid) questions you were asked when you were pregnant. Or, maybe you experience something that was crazy, please feel free to share. You DO NOT have to leave your name, you can add a comment anonymously. Thank you in advance for your input...

What needs to be done before I go into labor....

So I just thought I would put my to-do list out here so maybe it can keep me accountable.. I know I should have gotten a lot of this done by now but I was focusing on other parts of my house.

TO DO LIST:

• Clean out my refrigerator. I know a strange one but I will be doing my big grocery shopping trip next week so I will need a lot of room in the fridge.
• Finish all laundry AND put it all away. Now putting it away is the hard part, getting it clean is the easy part... I still need to wash some of the babies clothes too....
  
• Grocery Shop and plan meals. If I am adventurous enough I may even prepare some, but we will see.
• Finish packing my suitcase for the hospital. I have got it almost done (like all the toiletries and stuff) but still need to get a few more things before I can be officially done.
• Clean bathrooms. I know another odd one but really If I dont scrub the toilets they will not get done and Lord know I will not want to do it when I get home from the hospital.
• Finish Thank You cards. I am so bad at this too, so I do apologize. I totally forgot about them until a couple weeks ago so I really need to do before I have people mad at me...
• Find an alternate to take me to hospital in case Ken is in a meeting or cant make it home right away. He is really afraid that I will not be able to get a hold of him right away or he will be further away in a meeting or something.

So one of my questions is, once my suitcase is packed should I put it in the car when ever I leave to go somewhere? I have never had to think about this because we have always lived with in like 5 minutes of the hospital so we could always go home and get it and still make it to the hospital, but we are about 25- 30 minutes away and I am just worried that I wont have enough time to go home get the stuff and make it to the hospital in time...

No Home Birth

So I wanted to blog this a while ago but I never knew how to say it with out getting so upset. When my husband and I talked about a home birth we both agreed that if one of us did not want to go through with it than we would for go the home birth. Only because I believe that there needs to be a unity when you are bringing a child into this world (especially if you are going to do it at home) and if one person is resentful because they did not feel peace and we went ahead and had a home birth then I am pretty sure there would be some major tension in that room. So, one day after my appointment with my midwife, I came home and I was just so excited. I was just talking Kens ear off and was just full of joy knowing that the day was coming soon..... The day I have been looking forward to and been wanting for years... After a few minutes I knew something was up, he was just sitting there not responding and so I asked him if he was ok? I asked "are you not as excited as I am?" Then he paused for a few seconds and that is when I knew he was getting cold feet. My first instinct was to keep talking and ignore him because I knew what he was going to say and I did not want to hear it, then my second thought was. I will just get up and walk away and go pray for him to change his mind, Again I did not want to hear him say "I don't think you should do this at home". Well, I asked "are you not wanting to go through with this now?" Again, a long pause. I knew that he was trying to find the right words so I would not get upset. So all he said was "I do not feel peace about this." Holding back my tears I asked him "why do you think that is" His reply was " with all that has been going on with this pregnancy, it has not been like the first 2 and I am just afraid that something could happen to you or the baby." So with that being said, I bit my tongue went upstairs, cried for a while and then got on the computer and phone searching for a midwife who delivers at one of the local hospitals and who takes our insurance. Well, there were no midwives in our network and I knew I did not want a Doctor to deliver this baby. So we had to switch insurance networks and I was able to find a great midwife (who all of my friends are using and/or have used...)

15 more days

Ok I really am getting beyond excited and to be honest getting a little annoyed as well... I have been having contractions for what seems to be forever, but since Wednesday I have had timeable contractions... Wednesday they were anywhere from 5 -7 minutes apart just not really that intense, and Thursday and Friday I was still having them but more like 15 to 20 minutes apart. Saturday Nothing...... Saturday she was very still and did not move around alot at all. Saturday night I went to the bathroom and noticed there was some blood, well (sorry if TMI) I lost part of my mucus plug. So I got So excited.. When I lost it with my first (Kdy) I went into labor 12 hours after so I thought I would be going soon. Well, nothing happened. I did however have a very busy Easter Sunday though. Busy with contractions that is. Again timeable but sporadic, like 15- 20 minutes apart, some even longer. Well let me tell you they wore me out big time so I was in bed by like 7 still contracting.... I woke up at about 10:30 with pretty painful Braxton Hicks and pretty confused. Usually (well with the other 2) once I started having contractions they were about 5 minutes apart and I knew I was in labor, well this one is so different its not even funny.... Well, I will stop complaining and just continue to pray for patience and I know this little girl will come when she (and God) is good and ready and if it is in 15 more days then so-be-it, I will be patient and know that God is in control and I have no say so in the matter......

She Bangs........

To celebrate Easter I got a new hair do so I thought I would post a pic.... Happy Easter to all!

REALLY

I only have 19 days left of this pregnancy (well thats if I go on my due date). I must say that I am a little sad about this..... As hard as this pregnancy was I will miss it. BUT I can not wait to meet this little angel who is inside of me growing. I dream about her all the time, I dream that she is going to have really dark brown eyes and really dark hair and i know she is going to come out with a ton of hair. I can not wait for that baby smell, I really can not wait to wake up in the middle of the night for the feedings and I just can not wait to be "needed" again. Where it is only me who can *come to the rescue*............ With my 2 right now they are so self sufficient and they dont need my help at all, not even to make them breakfast so it was depressing at first but I just thank God that they are not always depending on me for everything because I see them growing and blossoming into just great kids. I see Riley as just like me.. If he wasnts something he goes after it right then and there and doesnt give up until he has it. He also is a fixer and loves to put things together just like his mommy...... He has broken a few of his toys and with out saying a word he will go grab whatever he needs and he will fix his toys. It is great. Kennedy is like me too, but I really only say a little bit. She amazes me every single day. Her heart is growing so big for her brother and she is just in love with Jesus (she tells us everyday) she loves to help me out around the house and to be honest, if it wasnt not for her than my house would always be a mess. She helps me with the laundry, the dishes, and vacuuming. AND she loves it... I just can not wait to meet this little angel and I can not believe I only have 19 more days. WOW.

On a different note. I am still waiting for things to get done and things to arrive though..... I was suppose to have my bassinet by now but it is still on back order so I can NOT go into labor until I get one.. LOL I told Ken I would have them stop contractions..... LOL I did however go to BRU last night with my dad who bought diapers and wipes and bottles, so I feel better now that we have those. Just need the room done and the bassinet and a few things from target and I will be ready...........

Am I nesting?

Ok I really should be doing more relaxing but it is so impossible to right now. I sit and try and relax and I think about something else that needs to be done...
I have had quite a productive weekend, I must say. Yesterday I was able to wake up early and get to the Mom 2 Mom sale before 9 AM. I was pretty disappointed though because it was a little over prices and I really didn't find anything I needed. I was shocked to see people wanting 1.50 -2.50 for just a short sleeve onesie. I was looking for really cute dresses but I guess everyone around here is a fan of gingham... Not that its bad but it is really not my cup of tea....... So, after the sale I had to run to Home Depot to get some paint and cleaning supplies and after that I still did not want to come home.. So I decided to go have some lunch. ALL BY MY SELF... It was great. I then came home to get some cleaning done and then took the kids to the grocery store while Ken patched up the holes in Kennedys walls. That was a fun trip, I mean I had been walking all morning at the sale, then at home depot and now all over the store. So I was not the happiest of person so I figured the only way to cheer up fast would be a chocolate ice cream cone from DQ, and what do ya know, I felt a whole lot better.. So we got home and I was able to finish laundry before the big game last night.

So this morning I woke up in pretty rough shape, so I am thinking I should take it easy.... rest and try and get a little nap in. Well, I couldn't. I started cleaning out drawers and dressers and such and then came down stairs and realized that the shelves in my china cabinet are dirty and the whole things needed to be dusted, so after taking ALL of the china and stem ware out, i took the shelves out and cleaned those and then had to take the glass fronts out because those were dirty as well. I figured since I was dusting the china cabinet I might as well do the rest of the house. So I dusted all of down stairs, all while waddling around. I am sure it was a great site. So I went upstairs to get some rest and decided to re arrange my bedroom AGAIN..... to make room for the bassinet and all of the baby stuff that will be in the room this week. Not like I really had to "make room" I mean our bedroom is huge but it did need to get a bit a a face lift.. So now it is 2 pm and I am exhausted but looking at all of the stuff that has to be finished. So off to get a quick bite to eat (Ken made yummy BBQ beef sandwiches) and back to work... The baby's room is getting painted today so look for pics.